Humour has always been one of my favourite Ericksonian tools. It is often a gateway into the unconscious mind, slipping past the guards while all the serious emotions rattle the handle and demand to see the manager. Used well, it can create a tiny opening where something new can land, without the client feeling pushed, lectured or analysed.

If you are an NLP practitioner or hypnotherapist, you have probably noticed that some of your most effective moments in sessions happen when you both find yourselves laughing. This is not a distraction from the work. Very often, it is the work. In this article we will look at why humour is such a useful indirect tool, what is happening psychologically when people laugh, and how you can use it ethically in Ericksonian hypnosis, whether you are practising here in Blackpool or anywhere else.

What actually happens when someone laughs

Think about the structure of a good joke or a playful comment. There is a build up of tension as the story unfolds, then a sudden twist or shift in perspective, and a release. Muscles let go. Breathing changes. For a brief moment the nervous system steps out of its usual problem trance and into something more fluid and open.

In those moments, the conscious mind is not scanning for threat quite as fiercely. The usual stories about “what this means” lose their grip. Instead, the person is processing something unexpected, which pulls attention away from the old loop. In that tiny gap, suggestions, reframes and new angles have a much better chance of being accepted than when someone is braced for, “Now let me give you some advice.”

Most clients have been telling their story for years. Friends, partners and relatives have offered sympathy, perhaps good quality empathy, and very often the same reflections the person already gives themselves. The nervous system knows that script. It knows exactly how to stay stuck while appearing to consider everyone’s wise words. Humour interrupts that automatic performance and invites a fresh response.

Humour as a pattern break and position shift

Used well, humour is a pattern break. It interrupts the trance of the problem. A well placed comment, a playful exaggeration or a bit of wordplay can make someone stop mid sentence and actually hear themselves. For a moment, they are not the problem. They are the person noticing the problem. That observer position is a very different place to work from.

This is one of the reasons Ericksonian work values indirect approaches. Instead of arguing with a belief head‑on, you invite the client to experience it differently. Humour does this beautifully. Exaggerating a belief until it becomes obviously absurd, or repeating a phrase until it sounds strange, can loosen the frame without ever telling the client they are wrong. The unconscious mind gets the message while the conscious mind is still enjoying the joke.

If you want to explore this in your own sessions, you might start by simply noticing when a client unintentionally says something that could be turned into gentle wordplay. Rather than jumping straight into a technique, you can mirror their phrase back with a slight twist, or invite them to play with it out loud. Often the smallest quirk of language, handled kindly, is enough to shift state.

Learning from provocative approaches, without becoming Frank Farrelly

Not everyone is cut out to be Frank Farrelly. Provocative Therapy done properly is incredibly skilful work. Insulting a client just far enough that they begin to defend themselves requires rock solid rapport, explicit permission and a talent for exaggerating things so outrageously that it becomes impossible to take the insult literally while still making a point. For most practitioners, trying to copy this style directly is a recipe for anxiety if not disaster.

The good news is that we do not all have to be Frank. Wild but kind exaggeration, gentle leg pulling and clever language can be just as effective in the therapy room, without ever humiliating the client. Teasing someone who insists their spider phobia is “hereditary”. Exaggerating their supposed lack of progress until even they have to admit how far they have actually come. Simply inviting them to repeat a belief out loud, again and again, until it starts to sound as odd to them as it does to you.

These are all examples of indirect utilisation. You take what the client gives you, wrap it in humour, and hand it back in a way that invites a different response. The client becomes the one who challenges the old story, you simply create the conditions. This is the kind of practical, Ericksonian skill that experienced NLP practitioners often want more of, especially when sessions go off script.

Safety, rapport and your own style

Of course, none of this replaces rapport. Humour without safety is just mockery. If the client does not feel seen and respected, even a mild joke can land as criticism. This is why timing matters. Early in the relationship, you may use only the lightest touch, perhaps smiling with the client at the way their mind has been trying so hard to protect them. As trust deepens, you can lean into bolder pattern breaks, always watching their responses.

It is also important to use humour that fits your own personality. Some practitioners are naturally playful and quick with wordplay. Others have a drier, more understated style. Clients respond best when your humour feels like a natural extension of who you are, not a technique bolted on. Part of advanced Ericksonian training is discovering how these principles can express themselves through your own voice, rather than copying anyone else’s.

If you find yourself feeling “script‑bound” in sessions, you might experiment with one small change. Once you have good rapport, allow yourself a single, kind piece of humour when the old story appears yet again. Notice how the client responds. Do they soften, laugh, become more thoughtful. Over time, these small experiments build your confidence in using humour as a therapeutic tool, not just an afterthought.

A soft invitation

Humour, used with care, is not a way of avoiding pain. It is often the moment the door finally opens while seriousness is still outside, fumbling at the handle. For many NLP practitioners and therapists, learning to use humour, pattern breaks and utilisation more deliberately is part of moving beyond scripts into genuinely Ericksonian work.

If you are curious about deepening these indirect skills, you might enjoy exploring training that focuses specifically on Ericksonian and indirect hypnosis for NLP practitioners, where humour, utilisation and moment‑by‑moment trance work are treated as core, learnable abilities rather than mysterious talents. Whether you practise locally around the Fylde Coast or further afield, these skills can help your work feel more flexible, more humane and more your own.